Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that
he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
There is no easy out for men
in our world. The Bible says that we are responsible for providing spiritual
leadership. That responsibility exists even when men do not act responsibly.
There is a desperate need in our world today for men who will actively love
their wives and children. The Bible calls on men to be understanding in regard
to their wives. It is very important for men to honor their wives and encourage
them to fill their place in the world. We live in such a messed up world Biblical
relationships have been put on the shelf and women have been brought into
situations that God did not intend.
All around us we see the single-parent
families that are usually a woman and children. Very rarely do we see a situation
where a man takes care of children without a woman. It is very usual for the
children to each have a different father. Nothing could have been farther from
God’s obvious intention of one man, one woman, in one lifetime.
Love
is the standard we are measured by. Let’s turn to Colossians 3:19. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
The Bible not only teaches
that we are to love our wives but we are to be gentle with them. Not harsh nor
abrasive. Throughout the Bible love is put forth as God’s standard for mankind.
Looking back at our text we
see that it begins with, “Husbands, love
your wives”. The most powerful force in the world is love. We are told that
God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans
5:5). Additionally, God demonstrates his love for us in that while we were
still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Because God loves us we are
more than conquerors (Romans 8:37).
The Bible teaches us that love
is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does
not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians
13:4-7). As Jesus was pouring out his final instructions to his disciples he
taught them, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just
as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By
this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one
another” (John
13:34-35). I submit to you that one of the reasons the world does not recognize
Christians is because many who claim the name of Christ do not act in a loving
manner towards other Christians. I could easily spend the rest of the day
pointing out scriptures that command us to love and act in a loving manner
towards others.
When Adam and Eve broke their
fellowship with God…
God
certainly considered man responsible. Let’s turn to Genesis 2:15-17. The Lord God took the
man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 16 And
the Lord God commanded the man,
saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the Garden, 17 but
of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day
that you eat of it you shall surely die.” &
Genesis 3:9. But the Lord God called to the man and said to
him, “Where are you?”
We can see from these passages
that God approached his creatures by speaking to Adam first. On the other hand
when Eve was approached by Satan and was deceived into taking the forbidden
fruit Adam was not involved in the discussion. Even though Eve had sinned first
God came to Adam first and called him to account. Satan had acted to undermine
the authority of the man and create a role reversal. And Satan is still active
in that realm.
God ignored Satan’s actions by
holding the man responsible even though the woman had been first in rebelling against
God’s commands. Or at least, she had been deceived into thinking that this
would not violate God’s plan. There is no doubt that the Scriptures teach that…
The
man — Adam — represented the human race. Let’s look at Romans 5:12. Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and
death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned —.
When Adam was created all
future humans were in his genetic makeup. Everything he did profoundly affected
future generations. We inherit many things from our ancestors. Hair color, eye
color, height, tendency toward a body shape, perhaps even personality types
come to us from our ancestors. Many years ago when I began to look at my
genealogy I discovered that these ancestors of mine were clearly related to me
because of the things they did and said.
I have found a large number of
people that are clearly related to me and often they look physically like they
would be one of my relatives. However these are not the important things that
come to us from our ancestors.
The most important thing that
comes to us through inheritance is sin! Not just the tendency to sin but sin
itself came into the world through one man. Along with sin came death and we have
all inherited that. When Adam sinned God credited it to us. From the time of
Adam to the time of Moses people did not have God’s written law yet the
consequence of sin was still in them because they died. The fact that death
came to all men is proof that God counted people guilty on the basis of Adam’s
sin (Romans 5:12).
Today, through the study of
DNA, we see that everybody descended from a common ancestor. Amazingly the
scientists who discovered this by and large do not credit God with that act of
creation. So they still spend millions of dollars in trying to find out where
we came from when all they had to do was look at the book and read, “In the beginning God created the heavens
and the earth… And God said let us make man in our image” (Genesis 1:1, 26).
Many times I’ve heard the
complaint that this is just unfair. Every person who complains about the
unfairness of it voluntarily commits many personal sins of their own. God holds
us guilty for them as well as our inherited sin debt. We need to remember that
we do not deserve to have the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! It is a
gift of God given in order to offset the curse brought on by man we see that…
Jesus
came into the world as a man. Let’s look at Galatians4:4-5. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son,
born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were
under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.
God did not drop his Son
full-grown into the world instead, at the right time, God planted his seed in a
woman so the curse could be broken by a God/man. Jesus was born fully human in
order that several gifts of God could come to us as an inheritance. The Bible
tells us that, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him
we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21). We certainly
cannot earn God’s righteousness. It comes to us as a gift because of his great
love for us. The writer of Hebrews tells us, “ Since therefore the children share in flesh and
blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he
might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and
deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.”
(Hebrews 2:14-15). We may struggle with the fact that we inherited sin but at
the same time we must be grateful that God, seeing our condition, sent Christ
into the world to destroy the power of the devil that was imposed on mankind in
the Garden of Eden.
Christ became our example so
that…
A man
must love his wife as Christ the church. Let’s look at Ephesians 5:28-29. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own
bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever
hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the
church,
The words, “I love you”, need
to be said often because they should reflect the foundation marriage is built
upon. However, too often those words are not backed up by actions. There are
many ways that a man can show his wife that he loves her. We have just passed a
week that includes Valentine’s Day and all kinds of pressure is on to produce
flowers, jewelry and chocolate. All of those are things that can be bought but
do not necessarily prove real love.
How does a man go about
showing his wife that he loves her? In my experience there are many little things
that prove the existence of love. Holding the door for her, holding her chair,
holding her, are all evidences of the existence of love. Suppose it were a
crime to love your wife? All of this is simply human activity and can be used
as evidence. In looking at your day-to-day activities is there enough evidence
to convict you men of love for your wife in a court of law? When compared to
other men we should show evidence of loving our wives. However the Bible
doesn’t compare us to each other it compares us to Christ. God demonstrates his
love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
There are many evidences of Christ’s love before the cross. He came into the
world, from heaven, as a human baby! In his humanity he went through all of the
normal human developmental activities. He had to learn to sit up, crawl, walk
and run. He had to learn to speak just as we did. He had to submit to his
parents. In all of this he was fully human and at the same time fully God. Even
during his ministry he lived a life of poverty. He himself said that the foxes
had holes and birds of the air have nests but he had no place to lay his head
(Luke 9:58).
These activities of Jesus were
all acts of love. What can I compare that to in our human existence? Take out
the garbage! Do the necessary yardwork! Clear the snow off her car! Warm it up
for her before you leave! Pick up your socks and when necessary do the laundry
and prepare the meals. All of these things are day-to-day dying to yourself for
her. Jesus’ final evidence of his love for us is shown in his dying for us.
In marriage…
There
comes about a new union. Let’s look at Ephesians 5:30-31. Because we
are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his
father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh.”
When God created man in his
own image he did not create isolated individuals and leave them to find their
own way. He created them male and female so that they could reproduce and carry
on the race. God intended from the beginning that one man should be linked to
one woman for one lifetime. A man and woman are to be bound together in such a
way that they seem to be one person. There should be such a unity in marriage
that it compares favorably to God the Father’s unity with God the Son. Paul
concluded with these words found in Ephesians
5:32-33. This
mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However,
let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she
respects her husband.
As we look around us and see
the breakdown of families much of the responsibility for that breakdown lies at
the feet of men. I almost said “the man in the family”. But actually, too
often, it is the man who is not in the family. It is sad to see children being
raised in a single-parent home and usually that single-parent is the mother.
Following the course of this world, that mother was deceived into a sexual
relationship that she was not ready for and produced children that she was not
ready for. The only thing that can be commended in that situation is the
obvious fact that the baby was not killed in the womb. We need men to stand up
and take responsibility. They will do that far better if they have repented of their
sin and have placed their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is not too late
for those fathers to “man up”! Pray for them that they will surrender to Christ
and lead their family.
All
scriptures quotes are from: The Holy Bible: English standard version.
2001. Wheaton: Standard Bible Society
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